An Attempt at Sensitivity
Three years after his passing, Joe's 'bum rush story' surfaces on the back of a Chinese food menu. And it's a valuable lesson in karma.
Tag: Stories
Ugly Amber: My Anti-Drug
When a plumper version of Rosie O’Donnell with greasy hair, and a face full of acne won't stop stalking you, even smoke breaks have to go.
Remembering Joe’s Bar and Grill
In its 100 years as an icon of Americana, Joe's has hosted iguana fights, allied itself with Germany, sold opium instead of alcohol, and much more.
The Most Horrific Pick-Up Story Ever
Everybody has horrific date stories, but this is the ultimate tale of “Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Let's all weigh the importance of being earnest.
The Infamous Ass Onion
Fueled by moonshine and the freedom from parents, a high school party gives way to the drunkest, grossest morning after story ever.
The Worst Sexual Encounter in My Fucking Life
A whiny hoe with a bloody vag leaves her mark on Gaudio, prompting him to disavow one night stands and *gasp* embrace monogamy.
The True Female Orgasm: A Story
Eating out doesn't have to be expensive, but if you wanna get the job done right, you might have to spring for a bullhorn and a diamond ring.
True Story: I Was Expelled from High School
Something haunted me for my entire high school experience and I don't really talk about it much (my parents hate thinking about it... heh).
How I Met My Wife
When you've got an itch that even the dog can't seem to scratch the right way, turn to Nick Gaudio. He'll set your ass straight.
It Was a Pleasure Beating You
His father was a hardnosed man. He was also hard-bodied, hardheaded, hardworking and a touch hard of hearing. The last one was the most dangerous.
Trey Parker: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Going down to South Park going to see if I can't... engage in sleazy ransacking, hot tub hookuping, 50-pound pussy sleeping, all in Trey Parker's house.
I’m Sorry I Fucked Your Wife
Okay, I'll admit screwing your wife in public was wrong, but completely emasculating you in the process, well, that was way out of line.