I’d Prefer to Date Someone Kind and Attractive, But Yes, I Would Settle for a Day-Old Baguette
Don’t tell me I have no standards. I wouldn’t date a slice of bread. That’s like, basically no bread!
Tag: Satire
Incel Burger Has Heard Your Complaints and We’re Sorry
As our apology, have a free “Girlfriend’s Fingers Fries,” which are for scraping against your cheek so that you can pretend you have a girlfriend.
I Have a Guy for Everything
I drink cheap, too! I’ve got a really generous guy who works as a bartender and he’ll usually pour me a few rounds for free, after I’ve encouraged him to have 7 or 8 himself.
Who Are You Going to Believe: The Man With Everything to Lose or the Woman With Nothing to Gain?
At the end of the day, Ford may give a powerful testimony, but that doesn't change the fact that she has two X chromosomes.
The Honest Calendar of a 17-Year-Old Rapist
October 28: Buy easy access costume for Halloween rape --- maybe just go as a giant penis and forgo pretense?
So You Want to Sell Your Screenplay?
4. To fund this web series and convince your friends that this project is worth creating, adapt the web series into a musical for the stage.
Unexpected Spiritual Lessons From Using a 7-Day Free Trial of Headspace in the Restroom at Work
Focus on your breath or letting your body go limp as it’s being dragged out of an ADA compliant stall by a security guard named Dennis.
To the Stranger Who Hogged the Dance Dance Revolution Machine
How did you ask me to watch your gallon jug of water without a second thought or an inkling of remorse?
An Open Letter to the Guy Next to Me Writing an Open Letter to the Smug Barista Who Threw Shade at Me
Yes, honored Seat Neighbor, you have described the whelp's arrogance in a manner both just and poetic. Yes, poetic!
I’m Just a Bride, Standing in Front of Her Bridesmaids, Asking Them to Answer My Fucking Texts
I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!
I Voted for Donald Trump Because I Thought He’d Help Me Win Sandra Back—I Was Wrong
Of course, he was pursuing a shoddy, ill-conceived attempt to normalize relations with North Korea: it would be a great honeymoon spot.
Escape Rooms Inspired By My Mother-in-Law
Can you stop this off-key, off-off-off-Broadway show before the woman who says you aren’t good enough for her son plugs in her karaoke machine?