Satire | Page 221 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

“What’s the deal with @Massasoit contradicting himself everytime he mentions me in a tweet or talks to the press?”

Can I just say that this is hands down (speaking of hands, I’ve got two of ‘em) my favorite Thanksgiving to date?

To symbolize the risks one takes when they pledge loyalty based only on shared blood, one small razor blade will be hidden in the macaroni scramble.

I mean what kind of shitty time traveler would quantum leap wearing a “Wherever I May Roam” T-shirt from the most kick-ass thrash metal concert ever?

Super Male Vitality: We went to a gas station and bought every dick pill that we could. Then we crushed them up and put them into a vial.

If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.

Lewis Carroll (1832-1898 CE, Writer): An early adopter of a classic writer’s block cure, Carroll’s method was simple: drugs.

I need a strong, carnivorous lover, not a submissive creature of the field.

Burton. Wendy. You can’t do a duet of “Something Stupid” as Jean is lowered into the ground.

We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.

"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."

I have to be me. I’m not going to stop eating the heads off of my mates after sex just because “the patriarchy frowns on it, Allie,”