Satire | Page 130 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

She used the same excuse for Lana's St Patty's party and my Ugly Sweater party last year.

Enter the front yard and you are immediately confronted with the Graveyard of the Norms. Every tombstone reads the name, "Norm 1776-2016."

Anyways, the uncapped Sharpie is getting me high, so I need to make this quick.

Beg. Lie prostrate before corporate HQ and beg. You are not above this. You have never been above this.

If thou believes thy hands cleansed when 20 seconds have tarried, thou art awakening for ill news.

You come into possession of 12-25 sample eye creams. Every few weeks you get another one. How do they get there? What do they do? No one knows.

Mina, it's me Drac! 479 is the new 35! Please message me back. I’m going batshit crazy without you.

She went on an all-inclusive vacation with her girlfriends last summer. She got double the number of Facebook birthday messages you did.

I love to kick back and escape my many problems by throwing on some real archival footage of a man who horrifically murdered his entire family.

We’re not doing this online, it’s too easy, too predictable (plus I’m not allowed to get online for 18 more months, minimum).

Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and scroll through my phone ever so much. John says I mustn't lose my mind reading article after article.

Imagine the home-field advantage for the SF Identity Thieves as their mascot "Guccifer 7.0" announces credit card info of the opposing players.