It’s Not You, It’s Your Dog
We've been together for a year, but I can't do this anymore. Not only do I hate your retarded dog, I hate you for subjecting me to it, under the guise that he would somehow improve.
Tag: Relationships
Dear Match.com, You Could Use a Guy Like Me
Dear Match.com, I think it's time I join your piece of shit website. I was put on this planet to change your ugly member stereotype forever, which is why I'm requesting a free membership.
The Four (and Only) Reasons Women Cheat
Barring the influence of roofies or chloroform, or revenge for you cheating on her/treating her like shit, these are the only four reasons a woman will cheat.
The Ex-Girlfriend Letter Template
It's difficult to have one more conversation with your lost love. So the only way to give her your last two cents is to write a letter.
So You’re Dating a MILF
Six things you need to know about MILFs before making one your girlfriend, you curious and/or loveable and/or perverted manwhore, you.
The Ashley Garmany Dating Questionnaire
In light of recent romantic failures, I've decided that every guy I meet and think I might want to go on a date with will be required to go through a screening process.
Non Sequiturs on Women and Relationships
Any argument with a female that does not end in destruction of personal property is an argument that the man wins. That's the curve on which relationship arguments are graded. <p>Women with fake breasts deserve a little bit of extra consideration, if only because they sacrificed their health and comfort to improve your scenery. </p>
The Five Stages of the Female Clinger
'Clinger' is a term for a girl who simply refuses to give a man any free time to himself. Here are the 5 stages, each progressively more aggressive.
A Misfit Looks at Thirty
So here it is, the big one. The thirtieth birthday. Tomorrow I become socially, culturally and sexually irrelevant.
Troy McClure’s Guide to Internet Dating
While internet dating is fundamentally pathetic and wrong, it is becoming a great way to meet like-minded losers who fear a lonely death as much as you.
Having Sex With My Girlfriend on Her Period
Even though my ex was constantly in the mood for sex, I willfully abstained through her first four periods. Then we hit the bloody sheets.
Pornstar Post-Breakup Emails
Adult film stars are just like you and me. They eat meals, go to work and even break up with each other. I managed to get my hands on some of the separation emails. I hope you enjoy.