<p>Dear My Congressman:</p><p>Hello, Mr. (or maybe Mrs.) Congressman. My name is Nathan. And I live in your district. I'm sorry I don't know you by name but the thing is, just looking at you people gives me the willies something fierce so I never bothered to look you up. Y'all are like personal injury lawyers but with less scruples and no souls. Except for Ron Paul.</p>
<p>Dear industrialists who helped build this great nation:<br /><br />It was 91 degrees for the sixth day in a row in NYC today. I step outside of my comfortable air conditioning and feel like I’m being punched in the face by a heat fist. The humidity is literally killing people -- and really annoying me. <br />
The government has a special site setup to explain Social Security to kids using fables. Mike has a special column to say, 'Fuck you.'
Let me apologize to the rest of the country. If what I experienced is any indication of the way voting is working in this state, then well, we've screwed you again. It's not our fault though.
If Canada is America's hat, it's the kind that's so big on your head that it swallows your face. Plus, like, Canadian chicks are way hotter.
Hear that? It's the sound of your alarm clock in your memory... the one you turned off an hour ago. Time to get up and vote.
Thanks, U.S. government, for telling us exactly when and how gambling is not wrong and immoral. Bet that goes for marijuana too, huh?
Immigration is a divided subject, and generalizing an entire race is a border you don't want to cross. Or could one man change your mind?