The Embarrassing Origin of the Douchiest Gym Word Ever
The barbwire tattoo around this douchebag's arm essentially screamed, "None of my shirts have sleeves and I punch walls when I get insecure about my small penis!"
Tag: Pain
Son, You Should Expect to See Your Grandma Get Hurt Soon
You love your grandparents more than your regular parents, which is why you need to prepare yourself when they break a body part right in front of you.
8 Ways to Overcome Sadness and Despair
If you are currently struggling with sadness and despair, then you need to make some positive changes in your life. Reading this article is the first step to believing in tomorrow.
Feelin’ the Burn! I Tried Carrie Underwood’s New Leg Workout and My Father is Still Dead
I can see the results in the tone of my legs, and the guilt of being 100% responsible for the pontoon boat accident that took my father's life is now an easier cross to bear.
6 Life Lessons They Won’t Teach You in College
What you never learned is that you're a replaceable peon, your career means nothing, your marriage will fail, and nobody loves you. Don't worry though, you were a mistake to begin with.
Statistically Speaking, Most Accidents Happen in the Home… My Home
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
I Am Perineum
I am Perineum, collector of moisture and bringer of grief—assailant to love and cunning puppeteer of adolescent boys.
How to Publicly Ruin Someone’s Life
Guaranteed ways to publicly destroy the reputation of enemies ranging from your former employer or romantic partner, to a professional rival or your spouse's psycho ex.
Alien Abduction or Dentist Appointment?
Dissect this actual transcript between psychologist and patient under hypnosis and decide whether it's an alien probing or a dental cleaning.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
Dear X Games, Allow Me to Injure Myself for You
Here's the problem with your skateboarders: they make it look too easy. Let me attempt to skateboard and faceplant all over the place, for the ratings.
Seven Reasons to Put Your Cat in the Microwave
Think about it, why not put your cat in the microwave? Last I heard (and contrary to what our "president" seems to think), this is still a free country. Just do it.