Lonely | Page 4 | Points in Case

Tag: Lonely

Lois has been distant ever since we found out my sperm could kill her. She keeps making snide comments about how Batman wouldn't have this problem.

"Nine Game of Thrones Cast Members Who Traced Their STDs Back to Kit Harrington - Never ride bareback in the North."

“You won’t be needing that anymore,” you told me “from now on, you’re known as ‘sad male employee burns mouth on coffee too hot office man.'”

Our love blossomed with the speed of a carefully edited, 30-second commercial for prescription diarrhea medicine.

HELLOOOOO! Hope you brought the peanut butter, because that my friend was a mouthwatering jam!

I am a robot whose contribution to popular culture burned bright but was brief. No one cares about Mars Rover anymore, because it's not 2003.

I propped cushions and draped a blanket to be safe from the hospitable elements--the laughter, the bonding, the strengthening over some foolish game.

I never look to see if the bus or train is coming. I never push the button more than once on elevators or at crosswalks.

Step 21: Start by googling quotes about running, a weird number of which are from the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami.

I hadn’t worked a case in a month and was hitting the sauce hard. It’s a gloopy brown sauce from a can of beef chunks--part of yesterday’s breakfast.

BARBER: It is customary to tip your barber $15 for each person who complimented your haircut and then immediately had sex with you.

“Why does it have breasts?” Uh, women have breasts, okay? i-Rene is obviously female, duh! I mean we named her i-Rene.