Can’t You Tell I’m Well-Traveled? I’ve Collected Many Diseases, Including Coronavirus
It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.
Tag: Life
You’ve Awakened an Ancient Evil, and Now It’s Aggressively Selling Empowerment to New Moms
"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."
Could I Interest You in Bigfoot Insurance?
These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.
My Instagram Alter Ego Is Alive and She Is Pissed
You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.
All Hail Aegeus II, the New Vermin Overlord of What Used to Be My Apartment
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
I’m Handsome Harry, the Instagram Influencer, and I Just Want to Be a Normal Dog
It was never my life goal to be famous like Sir Charles Barkley, the French Bulldog. If I had my way, I’d be like Butch, the mutt who lives next door.
Looking Back at the Campaign of Pete Buttigieg, the Porcelain Doll Possessed by My Late Grandfather’s Spirit
We were thrilled to see that Peepaw had seized the opportunity for a new lease on life, by using the shiny, porcelain figurine "Pete Buttigieg."
Guess What, Survivors of the Viral Apocalypse? My Paper Mask Worked!
And who is left? Just us free-thinking, illogical, hypochondriacs, doomsday preppers, and Hulk lady. So, I'm just gonna go there : I told you so!
Human Infant Parenting Tips from the Year 3521
Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!
Join Our Pirate Ship as an Unpaid Pirate Intern, and Gain Valuable Experience on the High Seas!
Be there gold? Nay. Be there jewels? Nay. Be there the 2-3 years of experience required of ye to land an entry-level buccaneering position? Aye.
My Personal Statement Applying to Your Grad Program Because I’m 24 and Not Sure What Else to Do
What I love about education is that it provides the unique opportunity to do my homework instead of having to consider any future plans.
Bad Rent Week? There’s a German Word for That
Fetsfermönee - The act of drafting a tweet about selling pictures of your feet, then deleting it because your mother follows you.