Why You’re Never Actually Going to Go to the Gym Tomorrow
Maybe it's my generation's need to always be entertained, or maybe lifting a heavy metal bar up and down just isn't my idea of fun. Either way, I'm on a gymless streak.
Tag: Lies
Shut the Fuck Up, You Did Not See a Ghost
No matter how many Americans believe ghosts exist, shut the fuck up, you didn't see a ghost or anything supernatural for that matter. Here's why.
That Girl is a Liar
She lies a lot, but not the normal lies about age, weight, and whatever so-called "ladies" lie about. No, she's in a whole 'nother category.
Lance Armstrong Has Always Been a Douchebag
Lance Armstrong is a an egotistical, hypocritical, lying, cheating, criminal, douchebag, drug addict... who also raised money for cancer.
Why There’s No Such Thing as Ghosts
The idea that we have nothing better to do, after this mundane experience on Earth, but to show back up in ethereal form and fuck with terrified people is upsetting.
Shut the Fuck Up, You Were Not Abducted By Aliens
Disregarding the Fermi paradox, the cosmic silence we perceive, and the fact that we're too boring for aliens to hang out with, you still didn't get abducted. Here's why.
The Four (and Only) Reasons Women Cheat
Barring the influence of roofies or chloroform, or revenge for you cheating on her/treating her like shit, these are the only four reasons a woman will cheat.
Your Teachers Lie to You
<p><img src="/files/u46/DSCN4380.jpg" alt="(a rare action shot of me actually teaching)" width="400" height="300" /><br /><em>(A rare action shot of me actually teaching)</em></p>
The 5 Most Popular Types of Lies
From harmless to preposterous, it's undeniable that lying plays an important role in our lives. One that the truth just can't handle.
Your Money is Lying to You
Our money is full of shit and has been for years. Which means I'd think twice before putting your trust in God.
How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Lying
If you're trying to find out if your girlfriend is a lemon, give her a litmus test. If you wanna know if she's a lying slut, the answer is yes.
The Four Levels of Slut
Sluts can be rated on a number scale, but unlike hurricanes, you don't need a weatherman to tell which way she blows. (Hint: Up and down.)