Obvious Money Saving Tips for Millennials
Instead of buying a latte, deposit $5,000 in an IRA. Do that every single day and within less than a year you’ll have nearly a million dollars!
Tag: Houses
Dear My Girlfriend’s Book Club
I am also sorry for not leaving when you all walked in, immediately noticed me, and asked me to leave. That was wrong, and I am sorry.
The Lava Claim
He repeated it while scribbling notes, carefully making sure he’d heard me correctly. “So you get home. The floor is lava. You take a shower?”
This Might Sound Crazy, But Your House is Made From My Mom
It would really mean a lot if I could come in and see where she … ended up. Sorry, looks like I’m interrupting book club.
House Hunters: Underground Bunker Edition
A bunker in a cute town with lots of shops and restaurants would be more than fine. Ideally, it would be a community with a high walkability score.
Stages of Grief That You, A Prospective Homeowner, Will Have to Process Before Accepting Your Fate and Becoming a Mole Person
Obsession: Refresh Zillow every three minutes. Ignore texts from your friends. Optimize your meals by blending your food & sipping it from a thermos.
A Plea to Raise the Millennial Stay Ceiling
It appears you believe I am actually leaving in a few days. This is not accurate. These ceiling deals are always a bit of a work in progress.
Is Your Nest Malfunctioning or is Your Brentwood Mansion Haunted?
Do your thoroughbred Tibetan Mastiffs refuse to walk past your Nest Detect Sensor™ into the the conservatory where your stepfather passed away?
All the Reasons No One Attends Your Open Mic
Your open mic is in the gap between worlds, accessible only to the chosen, the mad, and people you like. So, it’s kind of a booked open mic.
HGTV Announces “The Joyce Byers Complete Home Makeover Show”
Witness participants’ dreams of a new home go unfulfilled as they contend with Joyce’s dismantling of their house to find her missing son, Will.
Sorry, Your Fire Insurance Doesn’t Cover Fire Damage
I empathetically understand why you think your house burned down, but technically it was destroyed and not “burned down.” This difference does matter.
A Plea From the Chair You Put Your Stuff On
The purpose of the chair is to hold the Butt. This has been the truth for eons, before you were born and before I was purchased from the local IKEA.