I Am an ICE Guard and I Sleep Very Well Through My Night Terrors, Thank You
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
You wouldn’t take away my memories just because all of your memories of Mr. Bawk Bawk are of the CEO standing over your wife’s lifeless body?
How could I ever dream of being a proponent of it when, in reality, I am a victim, torturously stalked by drama at every turn?!
Are able to pay today? No? That seems crazy to us, because money falls out of the sky and everybody wins the lottery at least twice a year.
Better find a good cuddle buddy for "The Strangers 3: Come On In The Door’s Unlocked!", "The Exorcism of Celine Dione," and "Get Out, Please."
I've been informed me that the "sour ground" is the result of eldritch horrors, but in today's economy, you have to play the cards you're dealt.
Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.
How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?
"Fyre Fight": An anticipatory look back at the time-wasting Fyre Fest content wars of 2019.
We prevailed! We, whose skins are sensitive to the winds that whip through the lobby when goddamn Liam doesn’t shut the door—marched into battle.
Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.
Lemon Water (8:25 AM): This is lemon water do you copy?! We have reached the epicenter of your gut.