Health | Page 27 | Points in Case

Tag: Health

How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?

I know I certainly didn't fight my way through twelve miles of wilderness with no face to allow big government to turn all of our kids autistic.

I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.

One time I told him I heard a rumor that there was a dead body in the woods and invited him on a hike to see if it was true.

Let this dry skin mask sit for 30 minutes while you contemplate why everyone else's bully peaked in high school but Claire is now an Instagram celeb.

Merrells are suddenly the only shoes that don’t "hurt your feet," and you explain this to strangers, even though your feet have never hurt.

Chuck Norris continues to beat the sun in staring contests and that alone probably disproves climate change.

Show your dream company your most impressive work by hanging your greatest taxidermied prize outside their window.

God gave the Israelites corn and said, “Take this. And eat it only off the cob, with little tiny things called corn holders."

Lemon Water (8:25 AM): This is lemon water do you copy?! We have reached the epicenter of your gut.

Wetland restoration is about creating a clean, oxygen-rich pit so that a seven-headed behemoth might emerge from its depths and enslave us all.

None of my fellow parishioners have invited me to partake in a communal sexual ritual to awaken the dead, or place a hex on targeted politicians.