Natural Deodorant Didn’t Stop Me From Sweating, But It Did Stop Me From Raising My Kids
Parents wouldn’t allow their kids over. They told me it was because their kids were allergic to cats, which I would have understood if we had a cat.
Parents wouldn’t allow their kids over. They told me it was because their kids were allergic to cats, which I would have understood if we had a cat.
Why strip away the rights of people like me, a man in perfect mental health who wants to shove a razor blade into a Pecan Chunky purely for kicks?
Doctors always say things like "watch that cholesterol." They are unwarrantedly suspicious and overtly vigilante over an entire group. It's profiling!
Although, speaking of our actual bodies, you should absolutely look a gift horse in the mouth. You can tell a horse's age by looking at its teeth.
You notice a phalanx of tiny Greek soldiers inside your body and they're stabbing you in the lungs with their historically accurate iron spears.
He surprised me with a candle because he said, "I know your love language is 'receiving gifts.'" How did you get him to read "The 5 Love Languages"?!
You'll be ready to snatch your body back from the erratic specter that’s possessed it---and look "snatched" doing it!
Fake News say it bad thing that me want Bavaria to be good neighbor of Transylvania. Say Dracula sadistic bloodsucking despot.
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
Luckily, the staff at the White House told us that things actually run a lot better when he’s not around, so they’ve agreed to lend him to us for the next few years.
"When we put him in the ground, we dropped in every Twinkie wrapper. A shade under a million. He lived to 103. So...yes. I think they're ok for you.”
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.