Friends | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: Friends

I owe it to the world to share, and the world owes it to me to shut its bread hole and endure my incessant babble about chickpea pasta.

We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome brand managers, heads of corporate sponsorships, and marketing coordinators.

Growing up, he was a hard legume to love. He showed no emotion, said very little, and was constantly traveling for work.

I was once beautiful. Lacy, soft, and placed with love into your dresser in the coveted spot next to that lavender sachet your grandmother gave you.

I wish I had said that. Instead, I broke into an ugly cry and stumbled from the room, having jammed a big toe on the life-sized skeleton model.

Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.

Do you really think that I, a gorgeous seed full of immense potential, want to hinder my growth by spending all of eternity in your intestines?

“Hell” is my collection of art pieces that explores suffering as an innate part of the human condition. What it isn’t is a punishment.

After a bit of soul searching, preceded by rather a lot of ayahuasca in a Christopher Street loft, I’ve decided to radically restructure my tours.

At only $117,000 a pop, the Hellfire II™ is perfect for when you need to make a splash without splashing too much cash.

Qualifications: Ability to fire one-liners and innuendo, as well as sex appeal. You don’t follow rules, but you live by your own personal code.

Previously criticized Medicare-for-all as unaffordable. That's a hard "Michael." Announces "it's a JEEP day!" when the weather is nice. Solid "Mike."