I murdered your wife, and you got pretty mad at me for doing that. We’ll call that one a tie. We’re both people!
Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, I swear to God that, with ZERO hesitation, I will absolutely let you do that.
I assure you that there is no better place to be than in a rickety metal porch swing slowly ascending to the sky!
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
Fight back by repeating daily affirmations—"I am good enough"—or by taking off a shoe and whipping it at the gremlin’s head.
I’ve since had a cancellation, opening a slot when I actually COULD play one of your sick little games.
Miss Manners will endeavor to offer advice which she hopes will help you be the perfect guest at your knife fight, and as well as keep you alive.
I thought the mixed berry would pair well with the mix of emotions I had been feeling since my mom married her long-time boyfriend, Alfonso Matrioni.
He’s always asked me to watch his new “moves” even before karate classes, but now I can’t help but feel like this display is meant to assert dominance.
We parked our vehicle in several spots over the two-week period. No matter which spot we occupied, a human would tell us we were in “their spot.”
I’d become what’s known as "The Cool Dad" among David’s friends, and I was worried that coming off as anti-cockfighting would harm that reputation.
You think I won't beat you up? Just watch me! Please, don't fight back. Just watch me beat you up.