Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last, They Win
I have designed the following six guidelines in order to assist nice guys in their quest for happiness and love. It's simple: first let your heart die, then play the game.
Tag: Dating
Admit It, You and Your Ex are Totally Over
I don't know how you met your significant other, or how you could just munch on Sarah Lee cookies all day, but if you found this link, your ex is telling you it's over.
The First Ever Honest Dating Profile
I will outline all the terrible attributes that make me a bad person and suggest the underlying psychological reasons why I am perpetually alone. This will save us time I promise.
Women are from Relationships, Men are from Sex
Relationships, the differences between a man and a woman, the yin and the yang, the alpha and the... lesser alpha. The glue that binds and the absolute mental catastrophe that entails.
Revenge of the Ex
Bumping into an ex you haven't seen or spoken to for ages is one of those embarrassing moments that happens to both sexes. And it's always worse if the ex is with their new partner.
On the Mass Appeal of Nipples, Match.com, and Prostate Exams
Society subscribes to a weird set of rules, and how we interpret them is even weirder. For example, why is the nipple what censorship uses as the limit for upper-torso nudity?
10 First Dates with Superwomen
Dating a superwoman is often a recipe for disaster. For every bout of mind-blowing-ultra-cosmic-mega-mega-uber-freaky-crazy-ultrasonic sex, there are numerous pitfalls.
Brushing Up on Relationships
Why is it that women refuse to turn off the faucet while they brush their teeth? Every one of my girlfriends has gone full blast the entire time.
FriendsFirst.com Platonic Customer Satisfaction Survey
FriendsFirst.com, the dating website where you're taking it easy and seeing where it goes, wants to know about your online experience. Your Friends aren't making any moves, are they?
The Relationship Interview with Wesley Jansen
Wesley Jansen relaxes and provides honest responses to a relationship interviewer attempting to match him up with a female applicant. We quickly learn some men lack suitable experience.
It’s Not You, It’s Your Dog
We've been together for a year, but I can't do this anymore. Not only do I hate your retarded dog, I hate you for subjecting me to it, under the guise that he would somehow improve.
Dear Match.com, You Could Use a Guy Like Me
Dear Match.com, I think it's time I join your piece of shit website. I was put on this planet to change your ugly member stereotype forever, which is why I'm requesting a free membership.