Unfortunately, I have about as much knowledge of screwdrivers, fuses, and sandboards as I do about the dental history of the woodlouse I stepped on today.
For women, preparing to get laid means looking like you WANT to get laid. It's not about attractiveness, but looking like you've made an effort and are up for it.
Could it be that we humans, supposedly the most sophisticated animals on the planet, are actually fucking the wrong way?
I didn't really know what my lady friend meant by "I want to get to know you." Surely the sharing of our body parts was enough. I questioned her cautiously.
It's almost impossible to have a proper relationship anymore, thanks to technological advancements. If you're in a relationship you may want to look away now.
Something happened to me yesterday that changed my cynical view of the day of false love. I accompanied my friend to visit her deceased lover's grave.
Around once a month my vital organs hold a general committee meeting where they invite all other major members of my body to voice any concerns they might have.
<p><em>To: xxxxxxxxxx</em></p><p><em>From: xxxxxxx</em></p><p><em>Hi guys!</em></p><p><em>Just wanted to give you all the heads up that we're gonna go 4 drinks on Friday night to give the newbies in the team a chance to get to know us all a bit better outside of work.</em></p>
Despite what you may hear I am in fact a man. A bloke. A lad. I am of the gender which God blessed (or cursed) with a penis. As a man I am also therefore shit. I am shit at relationships.
Emma Watson said in interviews that she prefers Twilight because "it is more for girls and stuff." Similarly, Robert Pattinson lived entirely on Kellogg's Frosted Flakes to achieve his sparkly effect in Twilight.
Bumping into an ex you haven't seen or spoken to for ages is one of those embarrassing moments that happens to both sexes. And it's always worse if the ex is with their new partner.