If by some miracle I got the chance to talk to Shorty Shorts Man or Fancy Gym Guy, here is exactly what I would say.
If you're an amateur dresser, chances are the fashion elitists, also known as your friends, are breathing down your shirt.
When girls in tunics and capelettes are hooking up with guys in pink popped-collar polos and rainbow attire, it's time to call the fashion police.
An unbiased and scholarly account of the remarkable genesis of one of life's little essentials. If you like wearing wet clothes, DO NOT READ THIS.
A whiny hoe with a bloody vag leaves her mark on Gaudio, prompting him to disavow one night stands and *gasp* embrace monogamy.
It's so cheap, yet so unbelievably sweet! This thing is definitely gonna score me some hot ladies tonight. Nothing says laidback like the Hawaiian!
The N-word, pig's feet, D.L. Hughley, expensive shoes...there's just a lot of stuff that still confuses your average white person.