Sorted and separated from those of color, I can now see the first washing machine lying in wait. I watch as my non-white comrades are tossed into the behemoth.
Do you know what this jacket means?! It means I'm warm as fuck right now! I have a long day ahead of me, but I sure as hell won't be as cold as you idiots in your moderately priced winter clothes!!
Unfortunately for you, your underpants (if you're wearing them), and those around you (if there are people around), you just shat yourself. Don't worry, we've all been there before.
If you know a white guy who wears sunglasses indoors, excessive jewelry, or straight-brimmed hats, please lecture him immediately.
If you think dining hall grub smells bad freshly cooked, imagine a girl, in a mini-skirt, in the middle of class, in the middle of the row, who just shit herself.
If by some miracle I got the chance to talk to Shorty Shorts Man or Fancy Gym Guy, here is exactly what I would say.
If you're an amateur dresser, chances are the fashion elitists, also known as your friends, are breathing down your shirt.
When girls in tunics and capelettes are hooking up with guys in pink popped-collar polos and rainbow attire, it's time to call the fashion police.
An unbiased and scholarly account of the remarkable genesis of one of life's little essentials. If you like wearing wet clothes, DO NOT READ THIS.
A whiny hoe with a bloody vag leaves her mark on Gaudio, prompting him to disavow one night stands and *gasp* embrace monogamy.
It's so cheap, yet so unbelievably sweet! This thing is definitely gonna score me some hot ladies tonight. Nothing says laidback like the Hawaiian!
The N-word, pig's feet, D.L. Hughley, expensive shoes...there's just a lot of stuff that still confuses your average white person.