The Cunt of Celebrity
It’s difficult to argue a case for celebrities: why we need them, what good they do, and why we shouldn’t rummage through their bins and sniff their dirty underwear.
Tag: Celebs
There is Life After Golf, Tiger Woods
Everybody breaks down eventually, Tiger. Welcome to life as most of us know it: strugglers, not great at what we do, practicers but not masters.
You Shall Be My Bride, Kim Kardashian
Kanye doesn't love you. He only loves himself and his shitty, shitty music. Nobody else will have you. Nobody but me, Copernicus Thunderbird, Homeless Lunatic Wizard.
Hollyweird: The Cold Truth about LA
I've learned a lot since I've been in LA and I feel it's my duty to all you dreamers to tell you the truth about life here. To crush all your desires and aspirations.
An Open Letter to Kristen Stewart
Hey girl, I wanted to sit down and chat over a cup of coffee but for some reason you aren't returning my phone calls. Listen, you cheated. I get it, I understand.
An Open Letter to Brad Pitt, King of the Tabloids
<p>Like most people, I get most of my news from old tabloid magazines that I find in the garbage while looking for food or treasure. Because of this, I am convinced that celebrities live in a glamorous alternate universe that I like to call Tabloidia. It's a world of shocking sex scandals, exposed nipples, and drunken naked chaos.
Kanye West’s “Cruel Summer”: The Lost Script
Last week at the Cannes Film Festival, a fashion designer by the name of Kanye West premiered his feature film, Cruel Summer. I got my hands on the original script.
17 Famous People’s To-Do Lists
People try their best to organize their lives every day, EVEN FAMOUS PEOPLE. And since I'm the creepo who spent hours tracking down all their to-do lists, check out what I found!
The Kardashian Rise to the Bottom
As I sit on my couch watching an Armenian family dressed in cheetah print argue, I think to myself, "What does it take to keep up with the Kardashians?"
Christmas with the Kardashians (Black Tar Prophecies, Vol. 2)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird, and we're all fucked if Christmas goes down the way I think it will. What you need to understand is that the Kardashians are going to destroy Earth.
iSorry, But Steve Jobs was a Dick
What Steve Jobs did was create an army of narcissistic, self-centered, self-absorbed, zombie clones by sucking their very souls into his world like Shang Tsung.
20 Ambiguous New Chuck Norris Facts
Since I am a de facto dude, and since Chuck Norris is a first-ballot dude Hall-of-Famer, I'm going to explore the future of Chuck Norris statements of superhumanity.