Frequently Asked Questions About Our Fragile Democracy
What does democracy look like? This is what democracy looks like: it’s kind of pear-shaped.
Tag: America
U.S. Presidents Order at Starbucks
Ulysses S. Grant: A cup of whole beans--Starbucks Christmas Blend--to eat raw as he squashes his enemies.
I Own Bob’s Nut Kicker Funhouse, and No One Wants to Work Anymore
We offer employees (or Smash Testes Dummies as they’re known around here) a competitive salary of $2.50 an hour plus any tips!
That There’s Oil. Texas Tea. Economy Slime. Hot Rockolate.
Iced lava. Coal brew. There Was Blood, A Long Time Ago. Dinosaur Smoothie. Tyrannosaurus rocks. Triceratopped off.
Reasons I Give My Wife That Being a Desk Jockey Is Just like the Cowboy She’d Prefer
Like a lonesome cowboy with a leather-wrapped journal, I will compose many a silent email, detailing my woes on the Outlook trail.
History Textbooks Updated with Uncritical Race Theory
Original: Columbus routinely captured the people living there as slaves. Corrected: Columbus brought Western values to the New World.
The Sunnyside Senate Retirement Community Is Here for Your Aging Senator
They spent their golden years in the legislative branch. Why not let them spend their platinum years thinking they’re still there?
Rhode Island Would Like to Kindly Request Your Respect
We would like to request that you start treating us like the grown-up state we are. We bring you Nerf guns and have contributed so much to history!
Dear Tennessee Williams: Have You Even BEEN to Cleveland?
Cleveland is nothing if not unique. Have you ever BEEN to Cleveland’s own franchise, the Harry Buffalo Saloon?
Little League Inspiration, Summer Gift Guide, and Sustainable Living
Get suitable gift ideas for any run-of-the-mill person, and tips for reusing leftovers from Sarah Reelwomin (NOT a raccoon).
DIY Bird Feeders and Everyday US Patriots
Join our new big-name columnists for a savory summer of defining opinions. Foodie life, advice, home improvement, interviews, and horoscopes.
Uncle Sam Wants YOU to Auction Off a Meme to Pay for Your Gallbladder Removal
I’m here to tell you that for your upcoming, serious, life-threatening gallbladder removal surgery, you’re on your own, kiddo.