Quiz: Are You a Client Whisperer?
Your client wants to suck the bone marrow out of your firstborn. What do you do? A. Respectfully ask that he reconsiders.
Tag: America
Dear Honorable Lord Hiring Manager, With Love and Respect
I have reduced stress by limiting my mental breakdown to three times a week. You would never guess that I've stress vomited in every campus bathroom!
I Will Be Moving the Vatican Embassy to Heaven
Embassies, so complicated. So complex, I would say. Where do they go, who works there, what country are they technically in?
Adam Duritz of Counting Crows’ New Theme Park “Round Here Land”
Talk Like Lions and Sacrifice Like Lambs. Things get a little wild in Round Here Land’s animatronic-powered “Frontier Country”!
The Truth About Landing a Podcast Deal in Prison
The producers were convinced that my boyfriend Todd was the actual killer. Have you seen Todd? My little baby cousin is stronger than him.
Boy Scout Cookies
Dad Bod Mints: Like the popular “Thin Mints,” but thicker, and with a little bit of hair.
A Brief History of the Metric System
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
Please Vote For Me, I’m Exactly Who You Said You Wanted
Some of you have commented on social media asking, “Why are you an angry lesbian who’s trying to take a nice man’s place at the Congress? Also, fat.”
Please Do Not Bring Your Three-Eyed Troll to My Keynote Address at the National Three-Eyed Troll Association Convention
If a troll eats my head, how will I spread the message that wielding trolls is a God-given right?
I’m Scaling This Mountain With Nothing But Tincup Brand Whiskey in My Backpack for Authenticity’s Sake
It’s about putting yourself in the life-threatening, strenuous situations that past generations did their utmost to avoid and drank to forget.
More Movie Adaptations of Our Favorite Board Games
Sometimes there’s perfection in having flaws. Until one man remains. Or woman. Or...How does "Guess Who" work again?
Even If We Ban Guns, Someone Would Invent a Machine With a Different Name That Does the Same Thing
The liberals, they're wrong, we can't ban guns. Even if we made guns illegal, someone would reinvent guns and just call them something else.