I Will Not Apologize for Wearing My Sleep Apnea Mask to Our Third Date
Also, need I remind you, I didn’t try to lasso the waiter with it---I did lasso the waiter with it.
Tag: Dating
I’m Sorry I’m Only an Attempted Murderer
Your family has a long legacy of murderers, and you hoped to marry one yourself. You envisioned a picture-perfect life as a convicted murderer’s wife.
Popular Instagram Life Coaches for Women
To learn how to kick that pesky eating habit, click the link in my profile to book a free info session today!
I’m Running for President to Improve My Dating Profile
Yes, as of last Tuesday when Giselle dumped me, I decided to become a candidate too.
Honest Engagement Cards
I know we aren’t particularly close, but we do have a ton of friends in common, which means it would be a lot of fun for me to go to your wedding.
List: Alternative Song Titles for Taylor Swift’s “Lover” Album
Including tracks like "Did You Know I Have a British Beau?", "Hey, Bitch—I'm a Feminist (Sponsored by Apple Music)", and "ME! (Kidz Bop Remix)".
List: Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Found
1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.
List: Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Lost
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
Yuppie Wedding Announcement Written by a Bitter Maid-of-Honor
The couple described the aesthetic of the reception venue as farmhouse chic. Notably, the bridesmaids were dressed as mason jars.
Of Course I’m Sure I Want to Look “That Sexy” in My Ancestry.com Profile Pic
No, I am not studying genetic science in order to determine whether I can safely hook up with any of my 5th or 6th cousins! Geez.