Hi, my name is Bob and I hate Ron Paul.
You see, Ron Paul is against federal income tax and I'm pretty sure that I need to be taxed as much as possible wherever I go. I hate the idea of having as much of my hard earned money as possible. Oh, and without income tax, how would we pay for those great government ideas like FEMA, The Department of Education and the IRS?
I mean, really guys. Where would we be without FEMA? They single-handedly saved us from Hurricane Katrina. Plus, look what the Department of Education has done for us. We're the richest country in the world and our public education system is only slightly better than Uganda's. I mean, imagine how much worse we would be without the Department of Education's help. Plus, no IRS? That's just crazy. Without the IRS, who's gonna make sure that all those rich bigwigs keep paying their taxes. I mean, we all know that the IRS only goes after the rich.
Oh, and check out this craziness. That little Ron Paul kook, he actually wants to end US military involvement across the globe. I mean, imagine a world without the US policing everybody. There would be no leadership. The world has to know who's in charge around here. It's not like we could just all live in peace without forcing our nation's interests on the rest of the world. America is the best, after all.
Oh, and you won't believe this one. Ron Paul, that kooky little Elvin-looking crackpot, actually thinks that US involvement in the Middle East might have helped motivate terrorists to attack us. I mean, do you believe that? Like we ever did anything to them! Paul is a whack job.
Now, it's true that he keeps getting more and more support, but Paul's only getting that because the internet allows all the loonies across the country to organize quickly. No one besides a select few crazies really want a world where the government protects their freedoms and stays out of their affairs. Government is here for one reason and one reason only: to control every aspect of our daily lives on behalf of the elite so that we can all be protected from terrorism. Tyranny is way cooler than terrorism. Only an idiot would think otherwise.
And that's why I hate Ron Paul.
Sincerely,
Bob DeMoron.
Labels: ron_paul