We thought he was! We totally thought the guy who burst into the bank with a loaded gun and yelled "EVERYBODY ON THE FUCKING GROUND OR I'LL SHOOT" was joking. But if he insists on one thing, it's that he's not. And “MORE MONEY FASTER FASTER FASTER, BITCH.”

But then he shot that cute friendly teen teller in the face. I've never seen that before! And I probably never will again. Crazy shit.

I wonder why this guy never kids around. Did something go wrong in his childhood? I mean her face is really fucked up. No amount of make-up can hide a huge fuckin' bleeding hole in your face! Although I think she's dead, so maybe she won't really have to worry much about that. Speaking of worrying, I should probably be worrying about my own safety and life right now…

But I just can't get over how un-kidding this guy is. Especially since that's what he keeps shouting while dramatically moving a gun around in every direction. Are people usually kidding in banks? Are banks just one jovial joke-fest?

I could never be friends with this always serious burglar. I kid all the time (especially when I go into banks with guns–if the tellers are laughing, they'll give you more money). I have to end all my sentences with "I'm just kidding." This guy has to end every sentence with "I'm not fucking kidding, put all the money in this fucking bag–you think I'm playing around?" And then he has to prove he's not kidding by shooting someone in the face. (Can anyone be just kidding about shooting someone in the face?)

I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of friends left. Not many people want to be friends with a guy pointing a gun at their head, unless his gunpoint demand is to be his friend, and then you'd really have no choice. And when he would get a lot of friends, that would mean he'd need more guns to point at all their heads so they don't stop being his friend. Maybe that's why he's robbing this bank, to get money for more guns to get more friends. I guess he's not such a bad guy after all.

Scarface uzi blasting
It's just a MOVIE, bro!
This guy looks like he watches Scarface too much. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Scarface, but it's super long and I try not to watch great movies too often or else they start to lose their effect. And just because I like Scarface the movie does not mean I need a walking, talking Scarface imitation around all the time. That would NOT be cool at stuff like family dinners and weddings and such. Bursting into my aunt's funeral with an Uzi and repeatedly shouting "I'm not fucking around here!" would totally not fly with my dad.

I wonder why this guy never kids around. Did something go wrong in his childhood? Is he upset about gas prices, global warming, the Iraq war, etc.? Come on, dude. Relax! This is a bank, bro. It's like a money store, practically. They're basically giving you your money. OH SHIT HE JUST SHOT ANOTHER PERSON! Haha, but it was in the foot! And now they're hoppin' around on one leg and grabbin' their other leg and screaming out in pain! LOLZ!

Ughhh…this robber is holding up the whole line…

Damn, I just came here to make a quick withdrawal too…. Now the bank'll probably just shrug their shoulders and be like "no more moneyssss" and I'll never be able to try that new Burger King Bacon and Cheese Wrapper! It's for a LIMITED TIME ONLY, doesn't this guy realize that?

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