>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
November 24, 2004

Dear Nicole,

I am a girl. And all I want is physical sex with a dorm mate who lives four rooms down. But I never talk to him. Any tips on conversation starters that'll lead QUICKLY to sex?

-Kat

Dear Kat,

If you don't know him, the first step is to solicit a brief letter of introduction from a mutual friend or acquaintance. Next, schedule an appointment with him during business hours. Present him with your document and explain that you would like to attempt a DNA transaction. If he appears interested, give him your card and ask him to contact you at his earliest possible convenience. If he hasn't contacted you within two weeks it is entirely appropriate to send a brief follow-up letter restating your proposition. If he still chooses not to respond, consider this contact “cold” and move on to more promising prospects.

Sincerely,
Nicole

Dear Nicole,

How do you stop a girl from constantly following you around?

-BasketballPlayer

Dear Player,

Look, I wouldn't have followed you if you hadn't given me that line about being the Messiah, come to rebuild Solomon's temple. If you want to pick up chicks by telling them you're Christ, be prepared to deal with the repercussions.

Sincerely,
Nicole


Dear Nicole,

My girlfriend isn't a very sexual person. I want her to be more open to different things. How can I help this situation without hurting someone that I really do care about?

-Crazypants

Dear CP,

Make sure the handcuffs are padded.

Sincerely,
Nicole


Dear Nicole,

I have a girl and this girl keep on poving to be higher than myself, but I want to convince her to come to my room. If she comes how would react or to have sex with her without noticing what's on my mind.

-Austine

Dear Austine,

Let's be honest: We've all had dealings with girls who keep on poving to be higher than ourselves. But that shouldn't that stop us from having sex with them without them noticing. Remember: If you believe in how would react, YOU are the one poving to be higher than HER. Think about it.

Sincerely,
Nicole

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