INT. BAR – NIGHT
A typical night club stocked with social elites, attractive. CHRIS and DAVE, 20-somethings, enter but are stopped by the BOUNCER.
BOUNCER – There are a lot of ladies up in here tonight No fighting.
DAVE – No fighting.
They are allowed in.
CHRIS – I don't know, Dave, I don't think Chelsea would like me coming in here.
DAVE – Oh c'mon dude, just loosen up.
CHRIS – I'm getting married in two weeks, man, I feel out of place. I mean everyone knows I'm in over my head.
DAVE – Don't screw this up, here have a drink.
– A few drinks later –
DAVE – Uh, oh I think someone's spotted you.
CHRIS – Oh No.
A WOMAN walks up, tipsy. Dave nudges Chris to speak.
CHRIS – Hi, I'm Chris.
WOMAN – I'm Bossy.
CHRIS – Do I know you?
BOSSY – You mean you've never heard of me? I'm the first one to scream on a track.
CHRIS – What?
BOSSY – I'm the one tattooed on his arm.
She points to a THUG with her face tattooed on his arm.
CHRIS – Listen, that's great and all but-
BOSSY – I want to DANCE!
Bossy pulls him off to the dance floor, but her drunken gyrations cause sweat to bead.
BOSSY – OH! How these clothes are fittin on Meeee. and the heat coming from this
(Beat)
Bossy fans her chest, eyelids heavy.
CHRIS – Next time I'd wear something more breathable.
BOSSY – I'm tellin' ya loosen up my buttons babe.
CHRIS – Uh Huh. Right I'm going to um… go.
BOSSY – You say that, but you keep frontin'
CHRIS – Look I just don't think we should
Bossy whispers in his ear and runs a hand on his crotch.
BOSSY – Say what you gon do to me.
CHRIS – (nervous) I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words. I think my friend is calling me.
BOSSY – You already know that I’m all yours what you waiting for?
Chris goes cross eyed as Bossy feels him up. He looks to Dave for help but he only gives the thumbs up.
CHRIS – NO, NO it's not right. You expect me to let you just let you hit it but will you still respect me if you get it?
Bossy puts on her best pout.
CHRIS – Hey now, don't – you are so Wiked. Don't get mad.
BOSSY – Don't be mean.
CHRIS – Don't be mad.
BOSSY – Don't get mean.
CHRIS – (almost yelling) Then quit acting like a whore!
SILENCE
CHRIS – I didn't mean that.
BOSSY – I can't help it. It's like drinks start pouring and my speech start slowing everybody start looking real good… I don't feel so good.
CHRIS – You mean?
BOSSY – I'm about to blow. I dont think you know.
Chris helps Bossy into one of the Men's Stalls. She Yaks all over.
CHRIS – You weren't kidding.
BOSSY – I like to be wise and keep on reading the signs of my body.
CHRIS – Okay well I gotta get this shirt off, because it has signs of your dinner.
Chris starts unbuttoning while bossy goes increasingly limp.
BOSSY – How come every time you come around My London London Bridge wanna go…
CHRIS – What does that even mean?
BOSSY – Down.
She's out. Half naked Chris does his best to catch her when… THUG enters flustered.
THUG – Who do you- Who do you, Who do you. Who do you think you are?
CHRIS – Wait, wait wait. This isn't what it looks like.
A LOUD CRASH and several THUMPS and SCREAMS are heard from the bathroom as Dave converses with a nearby drunk.
DAVE – Yeah She's so sexy every man's fantasy, a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country, I go back like when ‘pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty I need a whole club dizzy Why the CIA wanna watch us? Colombians and Haitians. I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction.
DRUNK – Right, right.
The Bouncer drags a bloodied Chris by, yanks Dave away.
EXT. STREET – Later
Bouncer tosses the two out.
BOUNCER – What did I say about no fighting?
DAVE and CHRIS – No Fighting!
Chris and Dave walk home.
DAVE – You're kidding me! Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!
CHRIS – She was throwing up, not hooking up.
DAVE – Oh c'mon you know you at least considered it.
Chris wears a guilty look.
CHRIS – You know coming out to the bar was a big mistake. I get all groped up by some slut, and then when I try to the right thing, her boyfriend uses my face as a stress ball.
DAVE – Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically your marriage is saved.
CHRIS – I guess that is true.
DAVE – Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne.
CHRIS – Pour the champagne.