Many of you readers may not know that I, Nick Gaudio, am not married. I'm very single, in fact. So the title is slightly misleading.
Fret not.
For you see, this tale is more or less about another man, a man worth saluting in fact!
A man who I saw in statcounter, a website that allows me to see what keywords lead to the site.
So, apparently, this fellow was using Google to find some info on his…
wife suddenly horny
and somehow stumbled onto my blog.
Now, this isn't the best part.
I'm sure you're familiar with the fact that Google filters out certain words…such as… my…or is…or…!!!!!!!!
So, really, there is a certain possibility that it could have said “My wife is suddenly horny!!!!!!!!”
“MY WIFE IS SUDDENLY REALLY FUCKING HORNY AND I'M IMPOTETN”
(misspellings and expletives get cut as well)
I don't know if any of you realize it, but this saying is…perhaps… the most elated shouting in the known FUCKING universe. I was somehow related to that tonight, and now…I finally see everything clearly. (GNR IS ACTUALLY THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL FUCKING TIME AND THE GREATEST FUCKING SONG OF ALL TIME IS “GET IN THE RING”) Yet, we may never know his name. Sad…sad…how very sad.
STEP OUT, DEAR PATRON, IF YOU EVER WALK THIS PATH AGAIN.
Cuz I wanna get in on your freaky deaky wifey. Ba-lam.
Like that..Ba-lam. Ba-lam…against the bedposts. All over your nice suits hangin in the closet and shit.
Allll over that shit…like…all over that little shih tzu with your little bowtie on it. Like Imma make that thing like a Vasoline Swampthing.
Yall remember Swampthing.
You do.
Pick out the Pop culture references and win a PRIZE*
*Prize is nonexistant