I signed up for an email newsletter today from a web usability expert named Steve Krug. Web usability experts, for those of you not familiar with the term, are internet geeks who dispense advice like, “Web users do not like to be tricked. For example, do not display links on your website that say ‘Read the top 10 ways to get fired at work‘ but send the user to a video of a secretary getting banged doggystyle at work.” When truth be told, they would like nothing more than for the web to be filled with links EXACTLY like that.

The name of the newsletter (and his book) is “Don't Make Me Think.” Which must mean something like, “make everything on the web easy so I don't have to figure it out.” But I guess I shouldn't spend any more time figuring out whether that's correct.

Anyway, true to form, the confirmation email consisted of the following paragraphs:

We add names to our list only after verifying the recipient's permission, which is why we are sending you this address confirmation request.

To confirm that you would like to receive our future emails, please click here. If the link is not clickable, please cut and paste this URL into your web browser:

To copy/paste: please highlight the link using your mouse and click Edit then Copy from your email program's menu options. Then, start your web browser (the program you use to visit web sites) and click in the area you would normally type the web site address (such as www.google.com). Click Edit and Paste from your web browser's menu options.

The confirmation link above should now appear in the space where you would normally type a web site's address. Hit the “Enter” key and you will be taken to a web page that shows your address is confirmed for this list.

So I'm thinking one of two things: either a) this confirmation email hasn't been updated since 1996, when people were still figuring shit out–like ALL shit, or b) it's a failed attempt at nerd humor. Nerd humor at its best is mildly amusing, but nerd humor on average never has a punchline.

“Click in the area you would normally type the web site address (such as www.google.com)”??!

That's like me advising you to “Laugh at the parts of this blog post where you would normally masturbate your genitals (such as www.bangbuns.com).”

Which you totally shouldn't click on if you're at work. Unless you're Steve Krug.