The Teeth Go Marching On: How Britain Became Last Place in Dental Hygiene
Based on a real nation.



An Overview of British Dental Genealogy

Vikings

-Often chipped teeth on giant boat oars
-Chewed Iceland down to a tiny island
-Flossed using only wife's hair
-Wife only washed hair approximately twice a year
-Too busy developing Sony Ericsson to use a calendar

Regressed Nordics

-Inherited HUGE, ugly gaps between teeth which eliminated need for flossing
-Permanent yellowish stains leftover from Viking blonde-hair flossing
-Continued to eat ice in Greenland
-Invented Austin Powers

Advanced Nordics

-Developed straighter,
whiter teeth and healthy gums
-Stopped rowing boats violently across vast, Arctic waters
-Invented Arm & Hammer Baking Soda and Peroxide toothpaste

BritishAmericans

Comparative Dental Hygiene by Country/Famous People in That Country

Brush Teeth 2x daily

Britain: 20%
U.S: 67%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 98%

Additional Brush After Tea or Coffee

Britain: 3%
U.S: 18%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 66%

Own Dental Floss

Britain: 69%
U.S: 82%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 100%

Use Floss on Teeth

Britain: 9%
U.S: 81%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 100%

Use Floss to Tie Teeth Together

Britain: 61%
U.S: 2%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 0%

Own Austin Powers Movie

Britain: 97%
U.S.: 76%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 50% (stolen from Hollywood Video)

Use Austin Powers Movie as Dental Education Video

Britain: 64%
U.S.: 1%
Princess Diana: 0%
Julia Roberts: 0%

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