I don't do the running diary thing. First of all, that takes too much time. Second of all, I was too fucked up most of the trip to remember anything coherently enough to write about it.

I will tell you these things:
1) I was right about both Court and Nate. Court is a nice, charitable, hospitable, funny guy. Nate is talkative, insightful and relatable. Not quite as tough as I thought, as I was the most atheletic looking of the bunch.

2) Bums in Atlanta have little tricks to get your money. Nobody asks for change anymore. They try to get it out of you with magic acts and word play. Such as “For ten dollars I can tell ya where you got those shoes. City and State. Ten Dollars.” Then you say “Okay” (which i didn't, because I know better) and he says “You got those shoes ON in ATLANTA, GEORGIA!” It's this little touch that makes me think that humanity had a smell, it'd be the smell of vomit.

3) People from the South bitch about 50 degree weather more than they should (NATE!). I wasn't cold at all.

4) Hanging out with guys older than you really makes you feel young. Especially when all they talk about is older shit. I personally don't know what a 401k is. I don't have hangovers. I don't have a will prepared. But overall, the guys did a great job talking about shit that made me feel relatively at ease.

5) I burned Court once on the trip, which was considerably less than I thought I would. It's just, he's so nice that it's hard to be a dick to him.

6) Court's girlfriend would be a perfect kindergarten teacher.

7) Nate made friends quicker than I could drink a beer (which they came to find that I don't play when it comes to consumption)

8) Most trendy people in Atlanta are not bright.

9) I only met one single girl in Atlanta that I found worth my time. Her name was Angela. That's about all I remember about that.

10) Everything in Atlanta is expensive. I pay 5$ for a fucking BUCKET of beer up here and down there, I'm lucky to get a bottle for that cheap.

11) Going to a writer's conference really shows you how sleazy the industry is. Nothing but shitty schmoozing and critical circlejerks can be found there. I suggest staying away from them, if you're considering it.

12) MARTA, Atlanta's version of the Metro, means “MOVING AFRICANS RAPIDLY THROUGH ATLANTA”

13) In Georgia, West Virginians are known as “Yanks.” In Pennsylvania, West Virginians are known as “Hicks.” This leads me to believe that West Virginia is the entire country's whipping boy.

14) There are a lot of things you need to learn that you can only learn in a big city. For instance, Nate knew I was who I was because I was running across streets. Apparently, this made me look like a tourist. How the hell that works, I'm not sure, but I appreciate it that he gave me a little lesson in the deal.

15) Court Sullivan is a foozeball god. Though, I helped him beat his friend and my buddy twice (with one point).

16) Court's girlfriend's sister doesn't like chesthair.

17) Nate DeGraaf has perfected the art of putting out a cigarette.

18) Quite often, I put salt in my beer. Apparently, this is unheard of down south. Court and Nate were really bewildered when they saw me do it.

19) Paying attention to road signs on the way home can save you up to 12 hours in NOT GETTING FUCKING LOST.

20) I bugged Court for contact info of Roxy Hamm. He laughed at me and only told me that she goes to Sullivan college. This may or may not be a euphemism for how she got her blogger gig.

21) During a talk, Nate coined women as the term “Happiness thieves.” I'll always remember this talk.

22) Fate fucked us when the site went down and Court had to worry about that instead of relaxing. Still, he wasn't uptight at all. The man can handle a crissis.

23) Temple of the Dog was not before Soundgarden!!!!!!

24) DeGraaf cannot sing!

25) Court made at least 10 puns.

26) All the bars in Atlanta apparently have to do with outerspace…The Vortex, Cosmo lava, etc. etc.

27) Don't go to Bulldogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (It's a tough name for a gay bar!)

28) Police officer (taking Nate's drink) : “This doesn't smell like coca cola”
Nate: “You'll have to take that up with the good people at Coca Cola”
-perhaps my favorite moment of the trip.

29) Nate: Where did you get this balloon?
Court: When Amir and I went to that Yahoo IM contest.
Nate swats the balloon
Court: What did you do that for?
Me: You see Court, Nate and I had known all along that you had had this balloon was the result of going to the Yahoo IM contest with Amir. As a result, we feigned a little production here. Nate's actions with the ball were to produce the idea that we want you to get over the past. So please, Court, move on. Move on, Court. Move on.
Court: …
-I was so fucked up, I can't believe I remember this

30) Court Sullivan subscribes to Atlanta Home Journal

31) Court: Did you know that if you have a menu, you're more likely to get service in a place like this?
Webb: Really? That's interesting.
Nick: Yeah, he read that in Atlanta Home Journal.
-Court finally said that I was funny here.

32) Some of our convos had to do with Chad Chamley and how he didn't act anything like his writing. Well, I'm pretty sure that I don't act like my writing either. So, as far as it goes, I probably won't be around here much longer if Court does a preemptive strike on plagiarists. Though, we all should know, I'd rather be dead than be a fucking plagiarist bastard!