Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother: Pumpkins, to me, are the most mythical vegetable of them all. Versatile, you know? Everybody thinks it’s the potato, but you can do so much more with a pumpkin.

Billy Corgan: We didn’t choose the name Smashing Pumpkins to destroy them, but to honor them. To articulate their brilliance, essentially.

Linus van Pelt: The Great Pumpkin is magical because he flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world!

The Great Pumpkin: Well, it was the ‘60s. We were all experimenting. I started messing around with cloves. They hit harder than you think. Next thing I know, this kid starts following me and calling me the “Great” pumpkin. I had to hide out for some time—I thought he was working undercover.

Linus van Pelt: I always knew the Great Pumpkin would fly from the pumpkin patch and finally get the recognition he deserved! I told them and told them but nobody ever listened to me.

The Great Pumpkin: Again, I can’t stress enough how much we were messing around with different substances. Anyway, word spread quickly and I became a thing. It grew each year.

Dan, Trader Joe’s Manager: We’d carry boxes of pumpkin puree in late September. Then, we started getting these pumpkin flavored pastries. Next thing you know, pumpkin hand soap. Every week there was a new pumpkin item. Then came the Joe-Joes. We all know what happened next.

Former Starbucks employee who wished for anonymity: Sometimes I like to dunk cookies in my latte—sue me. One morning, I stopped at Trader Joe’s and picked up a package of pumpkin-flavored Joe-Joes. I dunked it, took a sip, and…yeah, man. Changed my life.

Teri, Hope Haven Regional PTA President, 2002-2004: Right before I picked up Ashlee from lacrosse, I stopped into Starby’s and saw this young man staring into his coffee cup. I asked him if something was wrong.

Former Starbucks employee who wished for anonymity: I told her I just created the greatest coffee drink ever.

Teri, Hope Haven Regional PTA President, 2002-2004: So I said, “Well go on and make me one.” What the heck, right? Might as well live a little in these unprecedented times. It was a life-changing coffee, y’all. I was the first person to ever drink a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I told everyone I knew.

Former Starbucks employee who wished for anonymity: It was on the menu by the following week. I accidentally created pumpkin spice.

Sara, former Buzzfeed writer: Pumpkin spice everything was the trending topic during #SpookySZN. Everywhere on Snap, people were posing with their chunky scarves, ironic mustaches, and PSLs. It was 2012 so I knew I had to make a listicle.

The Great Pumpkin: Sigh. Once it hit Buzzfeed, there was no going back. If “15 Poop Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself” went viral, it was only a matter of time before “YOLO: 27 Pumpkin Spice Treats You Must Try Before Halloween” took off.

Sara, former Buzzfeed writer: People weren’t even calling it autumn anymore. It was Pumpkin Spice Season.

Dan, Trader Joe’s Manager: I worked at Trader Joe’s for almost 35 years and had never seen pandemonium like it. Pumpkin spice tortilla chips. Pumpkin spice samosas. Our top seller last year? Pumpkin spice cheddar. Cannibals.

Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother: If you ask me, Gus and Jaq could be on the fast-track to a Michelin star with some of their pumpkin-spiced creations. Simply stunning autumnal menus. Ella was simply charmed, too! Who could possibly dislike this time of year?

Dan, Trader Joe’s Manager: I actually hate pumpkin.

Former Starbucks employee who wished for anonymity: Sure, I think about what my life could’ve been like. Maybe have my own food empire like Guy Fieri. But once my Pumpkin Spice Latte got popular, I was “quietly” taken off the schedule. Then the lawyers came after me. The organization wanted the credit. But I know the truth: I’m responsible for the pumpkin spice craze.

Teri, Hope Haven Regional PTA President, 2002-2004: I gained significant clout thanks to my recommendation of Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte. My daughter Ashlee got into six Ivy League schools. In fact, she herself is an influencer now, too!

The Great Pumpkin: I’m about six years sober now. I’ve maintained a healthy lifestyle with a pescatarian diet. Lots of meditation and prayer, too. I’m finally starting to enjoy Halloween again. It’s not always easy, but just trying to do right for the people who always believed in me.

Linus van Pelt: I was right about a lot of other things, too. For instance, totally fine if you wanna suck your thumb until you’re 47 years old.