Watch Me Grow


THE PERFECTIONIST

Style- Diamond cut precision all around.

History- Men of old had no time nor equipment for frivolous trimming of their locks, something about their axes being dulled by the repeated crushing of bone and tendons. Only thanks to recent technological developments (i.e. lasers, sharp wit) has it been possible for The Perfectionist to emerge with Hellenic disgust for anything that doesn't adhere to The Golden Ratio.

Unjustly stigmatized as the words-over-action non-male by many, including myself, The Perfectionist should not be underestimated. Or overestimated. You must calculate him out to 17 decimal places lest you engage the fury of his fists, named Form and Function... guess which strikes first.

Thrill-seeking ladies should proceed with caution, for yes it's true, he only does missionary, but every touch, every undone button is made with pinpoint calculations for maximum pleasure efficiency. He washed his blueprinted sheets from last weekend, already planning your next lip-quivering moment of ecstacy. Often times, foreplay will take hours as he accepts nothing less than a perfect one-thrust multigasm.

Don't expect him to cuddle, however. He floats exactly 25 centimeters above the bed, so as not to have to remake it.

Nicknames- The Accountant, The Hitman, The Model, and "Oh you're so Handsome!... thanks Grandma!"

Ups- Just plain attractive. Nothing says you have your life together like a face that would break a boxer's hand.

Downs- Good luck getting a girl to kiss you anywhere else.


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wtf is up with your posts? they are RETARDED!!! they are worse than that Aunti List guy.
shiiiiiiiit.

Face on Tap?

The wet humor has run dry.

Bring back the beard. Don't let shaving turn your blog into a blahg.

Those are some pretty bold statements. Jeez, maybe I should put a little more effort into this blog.

DON'T YOU GIVE UP ON ME YET!!!

I thought it was funny.

I still like your posts, even though I dont think you put as much effort into them as you used to.

Hey, I'm not going to lie, I had a lot of free time this summer... Now I'm a little busier, and drastically less hairy. It'll grow back Elle, chin up.

Just for you guys, I'm working up something special. I'll post it later today

cute