I have to get something off my chest. I have this secret that I'm supposed to keep a secret my whole life, for my own protection. I'm not supposed to tell anyone. So it's just me and this secret, staring each other down. Read More »

Halloween Drunk Comment

"Her friends should tell her to have some decency." -- James

Another Halloween has come and gone. Luckily, I survived. But here's my second-day review of Halloween. Read More »

Halloween Drunk Comment

"My eyes are tired from looking all over the room." -- Bossman

I'm back to reviewing Halloween costumes and experiences. Since today is actual Halloween, I'll make a sequel in a day or so. Read More »

10. Cliff Lee doesn't actually have any friends. When pressed, he gets flustered and claims that "Mavis Beacon" is his best friend. Despite this, he still types with two fingers. Read More »

Just doing some catching up. If you're not already, you should totally follow PIC on twitter:

http://twitter.com/PointsInCase

If you think, wow, that's really funny, but I wish it had more ramblings about baseball and impromptu rap lyrics, feel free to follow me:

http://twitter.com/NomChompsky. Read More »

BOOM! The poem(ish) is weeks old, the song years old, but it's all fresh to you! Plus, people still misuse "ironic" more than they use it properly, so it's all good!

Unironic Read More »

This is the last time I talk about the 2000's, and don't worry this isn't a political statement, but how have we not found bin Laden yet? Read More »

Dear Diary,

His name is the Black Wolf... 

You only call him that when he puts on his black vest and sexy shades.

Walking down the street behind his shades, he undresses you.  With the shades off, he's too shy to make eye contact.

Entering into the forest, he disappears from sight. Read More »

I know I haven't posted much (or anything) for a while. I have my reasons, which aren't really important. Suffice to say I didn't post for a while, I have a couple things to put up, so hopefully you should hear more from me in the coming weeks.

It IS good to know that even when you haven't posted in a while, Google has a habit of popping this place up at inopportune times. Like job interviews. Read More »

I thought I was above all these people. I'm not a freak. I'm not poor. Well, I am, but it's college poor. But, come on, I'm not weird as fuck. Well, I am, but it's because I'm a comedian or whatever.

Seriously, why am I even debating this? I'm way above all these people. It's what I've been telling myself every single time I've walked in this store the past 10+ years. Read More »

Bonjour, Bandagers!

You may not know it to look at me, but I belong to a minority group (no, not that one). It's a group of people who are sadly endangered across the globe (usually by ourselves) and talked about in hushed whispers—lest we hear you talking about us, come over and you enter the radius of dangerous proximity.

Yes friends, I am accident prone. Read More »

Sometimes I have nightmares that I went on Facebook and suddenly decided to comment on every single piece of information that appears on the news feed, regardless of how little I know the person, or how awkward the circumstances might be. Read More »

CANTON, OH - The historical committee to find new Hall Of Fame players elected Heisman Trophy-winning University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow into the sacred building of football stars. Even though Tebow hasn't taken a snap with a National Football League team as a professional player, the committee felt they had "a pretty good hunch" about Tebow. Read More »

Dear Diary,

It's day four with my mentor.

My mentor doesn't have a name.  He says its because he doesn't have an identity...

"I live inside you," he whispers to me.

I've hired him on to help me steal my brother's girlfriend Jamey.  She is my soulmate.  She belongs to me. Read More »

Yankees fans get a bad rap. A few rotten potatoes can make fans of the Big Apple's premier team look like total douchebags. And this isn't directed at you, the fine Bronx Bomber fans of the world. I don't even hate to admit it anymore, but your team is one of the best sports franchises in history of professional athletics. Read More »