I've long thought that pennies are worthless. I even publicly admitted to throwing them away.
And now, FINALLY, this worthless fifth of a nickel has gotten it's due negative coverage: thanks Yahoo! video.
The funniest part about this video is the fact that Kevin Federline makes the most RANDOM appearance in it. I mean, I guess it's usually suggested to journalists to try to include (or at least squeeze in) some sort of expert and/or celebrity into every story, so it's obvious the people putting this together thought, “Hmm, who could we POSSIBLY go to on the subject of worthlessness? Hey, is that douchebag still married to Britney Spears? That's like, SOME sort of connection right?!”
So it turns out he's doing some “penny-talk” promotion for T-Mobile or something, so there you see him, standing next to a T-Mobile truck covered in pennies, hamming it up. Please, if I ever come to you all asking whether you think I should be sponsoring a product alongside the most WORTHLESS MONETARY DEVICE MANUFACTURED, toss me a dime bag and let's get high instead.
But back to pennies. Here's the kicker: it costs 1.3 cents to make a penny! The government is literally LOSING MONEY ON MONEY. So if anyone ever complains to you about how silly it is that the government is spending a ridiculous amount of money on some program you could care less about, tell them about THIS. It's the easiest way to slip out of any political conversation victorious. Or tell them you work for tips and then spend an hour every night tearing up your one dollar bills so you can double your income. You know, if you're such a patriot that you can't bring yourself to belittle the US Government on July 4th.
Hey, speaking of tips, WTF is up with these fast foodish type restaurants that give you a receipt with a tip line on it? Shit dude, I did everything myself! Next time I'm going to put a negative number on the tip line and then write in a lower total amount and see what they say. I'll just claim I was so insulted that I already lost a dollar's worth of my appetite.
And finally, speaking of worthlessness, here's a really silly pun. Someone once asked me if I was dating anyone and I said, “Yeah, if by dating, you mean scheduling my girlfriends around each other.”