Help! My grades have fallen and they can't get up.
You can't test me, you can only hope to grade me.
Finals are like blow jobs -
they're hard, they suck and you never want to do it again.
If I were a statistics exam, I would calculate the odds of people failing
the hell out of me, then I would say, "Nice curves."
If I were a business exam, I would write myself off.
If I were a chemistry exam, I would eliminate the element of surprise.
If I were an economics exam, I would explain to the professor the
opportunity cost of spending extra time making the exam any harder when
he would still get paid the same either way.
