Embassies, so complicated. So complex, I would say. Where do they go, who works there, what country are they technically in? Our soil or their soil? Questions, questions. But today is a historic day, so cool. I’m officially announcing that the United States Embassy to Vatican City will be moving to its rightful home, Heaven.

Big move. Bigger than anything Obama ever did, bigger than anything Crooked H did. Meant to be in Heaven, the Pope—who I don’t always get along with, you understand, great guy, politics. But the capital of the Vatican has always been in Heaven. What I’m doing, still important. So historic. But also, not a big change. Because it’s always really been there all along. Making it official. You get it, you see. Eternal.

Might be protests, it happens. Not concerned. Moving our embassy to Heaven, it’s something that will be remembered for a thousand years. More, probably, but it’s an expression. My name will be on it, I think. Like Trump Tower. “Trump International Hotel and Embassy in Heaven.” Nice ring to it. Catchy, say it. “Trump International Hotel and Embassy in Heaven.”

Our ambassador to Vatican City, he’ll get to move to Heaven too. Oh wow, what great property up there. The views, they say, amazing and terrific. Classy, pure class. And I know real estate, I know good views, that’s how I made my fortune. So rich. So I know Heaven, and this ambassador, so happy to move there. Just got off the phone with him. Very grateful.

We’ll be the first. No other country has their embassy in the clouds. Just us, America. “America First,” as they say. In Heaven, the embassy will represent very important stuff. Things like God and religion, Vatican City, and it’s in Rome, Vatican City. A city in a city. Like I said, complex.

Jared and Ivanka will help open it. Jews, do they believe in Heaven? I’ll ask. Either way, they’re going. Show the world the United States has a place in Heaven forever and we’re not going anywhere. Except Heaven. All of you are going to Heaven. Reminds me of the flag on the moon, there forever. But actually happening, moon landing, who knows, who can say? Can put anything on TV, special effects, seen it myself.

But the embassy in Heaven, that’s real, like all my promises.

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