Camp Hope Hope Hooray! A Summer Day Camp for Middle-Aged Adults
If just reading about outdoor activities like zip lining, kayaking, and rock climbing makes you groan, you’ll love Cinema Binge.
Tag: Water
Welcome to Camp Sunshine! Please Read Our 2019 Camp Policies
Camp Sunshine opens its doors at 8:55 every morning. Please drive carefully because although we have 125 campers, we only have 11 legal parking spots.
If the Earth Really is Warming, Why is My Wife Still Leaving Me?
The eggheads at NASA say that last year was the fourth hottest on record, and yet a polar vortex of Arctic proportions has descended upon my bedroom.
Fish Out of Water
A week ago, my girlfriend left me for a flying fish. You know, the kind with the little wings that glide, the kind you hear about.
How I Bought a Home at 25 By Making Coffee at Home and Also By Living in a Hollowed-Out Tree in the Woods Like Winnie the Pooh
Since I don’t have "hot water," or "a coffeemaker" or "plumbing," it's not quite as tasty as the coffee at my coffee shop, but it sure is cheaper!
Are You a Real New Yorker or Just a College Intern?
Mixed up bodies of water, and when your friend from out of town visited, confidently pointed towards Hoboken and said, “that’s Brooklyn over there?”
Emeline, Please Respond, For the Squid’s Power Only Grows
An orange squid has entered my dreams, watching me practice my ascending spin and barrel sculls with languid disinterest. I cannot banish him.
Now That Game of Thrones is Over, Can We Talk About the Very Slow Fire Spreading in My Home?
I bet firefighters loved it when the red priestess Melisandre lit thousands of Dothraki arakhs aflame. These days, people only care about fast fires.
The Meaning of Life
The meaning of life is being in a bathtub, no matter what the circumstances are. It’s joining a group to roll a beached whale back into the sea.
How Bugs Kill Themselves
I know this is sugarcoated for the sake of elementary school curriculums but caterpillars do not transform into butterflies. They die in there.
Everyday Tasks That Are Impossible With Someone Watching
Cooking for Friends: This is just like a quick-fire challenge on Top Chef: there’s a time crunch and four people watching.
The Harrowing Tale of Going 52 Hours Without a Phone
I’m outside now, walking to the nearby pizza shop. There are people everywhere, so many of them, crawling all over the place.