Teaching My First Class at Caveman High
I didn't choose to be transported to a pre-historic age, but I did choose to become the teacher of the cavemen and women once I got there. No Neanderthal left behind!
Tag: Travel
How to Not Be Okay with Your Body at a German Spa
People are staring at each other, unblinkingly, completely nude. No turning away politely, just unabashedly staring. Why are we doing this? Why on earth are we here?
Monologue: Why You Should Join This Packed Subway Car
Come, ye lost soul. If you keep yelling for us to “Move in,” I'm positive a black hole will spontaneously erupt right above our heads.
Welcome to the MFAGZ Federation®, Formerly the USA
If you have not done so already, please upload all personal information onto the Privacy Pads® you will have received en route.
Studies Show the Bearded Guy with Moleskin on the F Train is In Fact a Douchebag
Studies confirm that bearded guy in flannel, intently scribbling unintelligible poetry on the subway, has a 100% percent chance of being a complete d-bag.
6 Tips as You Prepare to Die on Your Next American Train Ride
Advice for easing your transition into death after choosing this dark, moody, and occasionally cost-effective alternative transportation.
10 New Common Sense Rules to Make Air Travel More Pleasant
If you still don't know that going through airport security means only packing liquids portioned for an American Girl doll, you don't deserve to go to the Bahamas.
How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
An Insider’s Guide to Paris, From a Guy Who Just Spent a Long Weekend There
After my 3-day, 2-night stay in "The City By the Lights," I've compiled the ultimate Insider's Guide that will have you cheering "oui oui!" just like a local!
Five Tips for Nervous American Tourists Abroad
As a reformed predator of tourists, I feel it is my duty to make amends for all of my past wrongdoings by sharing some simple tips for traveling safely.
Horny Bulgarian Women Looking to Fuck Near You!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
Now Boarding Flight 1786 to New York’s LaGuardia Airport
Going by the presence of all black clothing, oversized headphones, lattes, and jaded demeanors, it appears you're all definitely in the correct gate area.