Pissing on the Toilet Seat is a Sign of My Dominance
Other men see my pee on that white plastic horseshoe and know I'm in charge. That I'm an Alpha, and they are the weaker members of my species.
Tag: Travel
Welcome to the Megabus Team, Newly Hired Customer Service Ambassador!
Remember, confusion is at the heart of everything we do here - we call it the Confusion Paradigm©. Without it, we are nothing.
Traveling Back in Time and Making It So I Was Never Born Has Put a Serious Strain on My Marriage
In my quest to pitch "The King of Queens" a year before Kevin James could, I accidentally interrupted my parents' first date, thus ruining my marriage.
30-Point NYC Subway Improvement Plan
As part of white collar drug treatment program, baristas serve liquid methadone lattes on G train. Every other Thursday, system-wide Backwards Day.
The Differences Between Going Abroad as a Tourist, a Backpacker, or a Traveler
Three examples of how self-imposed labels have personally defined my experiences abroad, from utterly tame to absolutely insane.
Travel Advice from Someone Who Totally Went to Africa
Before planning your trip to Africa, consider the advice of someone who has been there many times and is totally not making stuff up based on movies.
The First Self-Driving Car for Women: An Operating Manual
Go ahead and smile, because that's how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see resting bitch face. There it is. There's our pretty lady. Step inside.
9 Fun and Local-Approved Things To Do in Seattle When You’re in Town for Your Uncle’s Funeral
Yes, your uncle is dead. But Seattle is an amazing city and you WILL NOT let a perfectly good couple of days away from the office and kids be ruined by a lousy funeral.
If Countries were Contestants on Last Comic Standing
Italy: "I just called Comcast and asked if there's an extra charge for Rome-ing? ...Hello? What are you? An audience or a Michelangelo painting?"
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants: An Update
The heart wants long johns from Saks. The heart can't get long johns from Saks unless it can get into the subway, but it used all it's coins.
8 Tips for Family Vacationing on a Shoestring Budget
If your family is anything like mine, annual vacations rack up years of therapy expenses. Here are a eight money-saving musts to make sure your bank isn't broken while your spirit is.
The 7 Sexiest Airport Departure Lounges in Florida
For all you thrill-seekers planning your next naughty weekend in the Sunshine State, here's our definitive visitor's guide to the sexiest airport departure lounges in Florida.