A Letter from Ginger, the Crime-Solving Tabby of “The Maple Tree Mysteries” Book Series
My life has been nothing but cutesy crime solving and I’m over it. I’d rather get spayed again than have to solve one more cozy mystery.
Tag: Satire
Lyndon B. Johnson Addresses Congress Regarding John F. Kennedy Going Away to a Farm Upstate
It is sad, yes, but he is in a better place. I am told at the farm there is a little pond with some swans in it.
I Really Shouldn’t Have Worn a Suit on This Camping Trip
“We’re not in the boardroom anymore, eh fellas?” I said. But Ross seemed genuinely injured.
So I Hear You Know Photoshop
Would you mind making me a logo for my new insect-dessert business? I was going to hire someone, but they wanted to charge me a few hundred dollars.
Hey Neighbor, Will You Please Watch Me Write My Screenplay?
You may have noticed by now I’ve not typed a single word in over three hours. Don’t be alarmed. It’s all part of the process.
You Should Quit Social Media Because You Are Being Pursued by a Hideous Creature of Your Own Making
People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.
Mom, Dad, I Think I Might Be Disney’s First Gay Character
Remember how I never explicitly say that I’m gay, and instead always couch it in weird innuendos?
I Apologize for the Clown That Was Juggling at Your Grandfather’s Funeral
He never juggles with some cheap-y plastic bowling pins and always uses solid wood ones with sparkly decals. Using bargain pins is disrespectful.
Some Complaints I Have with the Garden of Eden
Too much fruit: I've eaten six tons of papaya, 3,500 grapefruits, 0 apples, 700 oranges, more grapes than I can count, and a plethora of colorful berries.
Theoretical Physicist Michio Kaku Asked Me to Stop Sending Him These Solutions to the Grandfather Paradox
Anyone who tries to create a paradox gets stopped by theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and his incredible superpowers.
Yelp Reviews of My Toddler’s Restaurant
Having never been to a mandatory restaurant before, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but Marshall-Chase-Spiderman-Sit-Down-Now was delightful!
If You’re Gonna Haunt My House, You’re Gonna Haunt by My Rules
And your little ghost friends? They can’t spend the night. All of you swirling around in a big circle above the roof.