You Thought I Was Just Some Dad, Until I Did One Bad Pull-Up on These Monkey Bars
Now you’re thinking, “Wait, is that kid’s sexy childless uncle visiting from somewhere cool like Denmark?”
Tag: Satire
Guidelines for Attending (and Winning) the Opera
To follow the opera’s story, you don’t need to be fluent in Italian, German, or hieroglyphics.
My Halloween Costume Is Just Regular Clothes, but I Expect You to Guess What I Am
Fine, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a fictional human character from film, TV, video games, literature, or social media of the past 100 years.
Updated Professional Wrestling Gimmicks for the Gig Economy
The renowned Etsy enamel button maker takes on his evil counterpart, the mysterious masked man known as the Deviant Artist.
An NYT/Washington Post Fact Check of Laffy Taffy Jokes
The Claim: What did you call a pile of cats? (a Meowtain) Our Rating: FALSE. A group of cats is called a Clowder.
You’re Caught in a Bear Trap? I’m Not Falling for That Again
“I am caught in this bear trap and I’m in grave danger” is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Tight up there with “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
Whoops, Must Have Laughed Out Loud in This Busy Cafe at Something I Just Wrote
Obviously, nobody wants to hear the funny thing I wrote, right? I know you’re all staring at me, since my laugh set off the smoke alarms.
Dispatches from My Dad’s Visit to a Civil War Battlefield
Just glancing at this green expanse makes me burst with joy. It is the same feeling I had on my wedding day, and on the day you were born.
Thank You for Attending This Meeting to Address the Totally Unfounded Rumors of Layoffs That We Definitely Haven’t Had Planned for 6 Months
Take it from me, the CEO who only has your best interests at heart: There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything
San Francisco Could Be a Great City, If It Weren’t for Their Baseball Team’s Mascot
Lou had the t-shirt cannon, we made hard eye contact, and then he shoots the cannon in the complete opposite direction.
Confession: I Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar
The crumbs in my bed sheets, the chocolate smear on my PJs—I don’t know, maybe I wanted to get caught.
Your Son Got a Sip of Dad’s Heineken and It’s Affecting His Performance in 3rd Grade
When learning how to read an analog clock. He raised his hand and guessed the time was “beer thirty.” It was 11:18 AM.