I Don’t Sell Pot, I Sell Dreams
I don't know what you're talking about man, I'm not holding. I don't even know what holding means. But if I did know what it means, I would be holding the best stuff you've ever seen.
Tag: Satire
Morning Announcements at the High School of Your Nightmares
P.E. gets worse, lunch still sucks, and there's going to be a pop quiz in 2 minutes. I'm your new principal, have a great day, kids!
What I’m Looking Forward to About Becoming a Total Degenerate
I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to most about becoming a complete degenerate: exposing my children to my heinous lifestyle.
My Apologies for the Sanctuary Night Club Melee
I would like to apologize to the Sanctuary night club downtown. I appreciate that you let me in despite the fact that I looked visibly intoxicated, and ended up disgracing your establishment.
An Increasingly Drunk Guy at a Party Reviews Movies
An increasingly drunk guy at a party reviews Independence Day, 3 beers at a time. Will Smith, so awesome dude!!
Sleeping Keeps Me Awake at Night
They say that if you practice something hard enough, you'll eventually become an expert. Then how come I try sleeping every single night but always fail so miserably?
He Was Looking Smooth with the Jewelry
The State District Attorney questions a witness about a late-night transaction involving one totally blinged-out, smooth muthafucka.
You Have a Grass Pipe, Dude, Man?
Me and my Turkish friends smoke all the time. But when we come to America, we cannot do it. Please, we want very bad to smoke and play FIFA.
I Promise I Won’t Sleep With Your Mom
I promise, honey, I will NEVER, ever, ne'er, ever, ever ever ever sleep with your mother, or get a handjob from your mother.
Green Dragon Pride
Attention Green Dragon soccer team members who had your penis and testicles touched by assistant coach Nick: look on the bright side!
Candidate Comparison ’08: McCain vs. Obama
For Americans, the 2008 presidential election comes down to a choice between an inexperienced street thug and a defrosted Civil War veteran.
Head of a Porn Studio Critiques Young Screenwriter
The head of a porn studio gives notes to a young screenwriter on his screenplay submission to Money Shot Studios.