Thank You for Considering Having Sex with Me
I would like to express my deepest gratitude for your willingness to begin the process of considering having sex with me. But first, a few matters of federal, state, and local law.
Tag: Satire
Deep Down in the Content Mines
Grandpa's lost all attention span after those long days and nights toiling to find pieces of prime content to make into memes and listicles.
Just Because My Name is Robert Poopinmyunderwear Does Not Mean You Can Call Me “Bob”
My father, Robert Earl Poopinmyunderwear, brought prosperity to this town. Poopinmyunderwear Diapers are the top selling pants guards for feces-conscious adults.
I Am Your Father’s Man Cave
When your dad turned 48, he felt a helpless desperation welling up in his chest. Now, this giant marble sculpture of Dolph Lundgren's abs fill the void.
I Tested How Realistic Clue Is by Killing Six People in a Mansion
To test how realistic the mysterious Clue is, I killed six different people, each with a different weapon, in various rooms of an old gilded age mansion I rented.
Did You Not Wash Your Hands After Pooping on the Boss’ Desk?
Gary, I've called you into HR today not because you defecated onto Mr. Peters’ desk, but because you clearly didn’t even make an attempt to wash your hands afterward.
Lovers Divided (The Unhappy Accident)
So you were still cheating on me, you were drinking again, and you killed me! Did I leave anything out, you jerk? Now look where you've gotten us!
I Don’t Want This Suck & Fuck to Start Getting Political
Suck & Fuck does not belong to anyone. It is a car-based, non-profit sexual marathon open to all members of the public, so long as they adhere to the rules.
I’m Beginning to Have Second Thoughts About Joining This Apocalyptic Death Cult
There's no one thing that's bugging me about the death cult; it just seems like every few days another annoyance breaches the surface, and they're starting to add up.
“Amazon Prime Baby” Eliminates Barriers to Parentry
Amazon Prime Baby uses an algorithm designed to evaluate parental fitness based on Amazon order history as a means to simplify the process of infant acquisition.
Living With My Boyfriend’s Hulkamania
On the surface, it would probably seem that my boyfriend Jack and I have the perfect relationship. Lurking beneath the surface, however, is a dark, WWE-related secret.
Trump Beach Volleyball
A three-on-three volleyball game is about to start in the sand only a seashell's toss from the Trump Ocean. Ben Carson, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Chris Christie are there.