Night at the Museum: Constitutional Crisis
Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
Tag: Satire
Highlights From Squanto’s Plymouth Colony Twitter Feed
“What’s the deal with @Massasoit contradicting himself everytime he mentions me in a tweet or talks to the press?”
No, I’m Not a Turkey Wearing a Mustache, It’s Me, Your Uncle Joe
Can I just say that this is hands down (speaking of hands, I’ve got two of ‘em) my favorite Thanksgiving to date?
You are Cordially Invited to This Year’s Thanksgiving, Which My Son Will Be Filming to Expose the Sham of the Modern Family
To symbolize the risks one takes when they pledge loyalty based only on shared blood, one small razor blade will be hidden in the macaroni scramble.
Man in 1888 Photo With a Metallica T-Shirt and Cell Phone is Not a Time Traveler
I mean what kind of shitty time traveler would quantum leap wearing a “Wherever I May Roam” T-shirt from the most kick-ass thrash metal concert ever?
The Essential Infowars Supplements
Super Male Vitality: We went to a gas station and bought every dick pill that we could. Then we crushed them up and put them into a vial.
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
How Writers Throughout History Have Beaten Their Writer’s Block
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898 CE, Writer): An early adopter of a classic writer’s block cure, Carroll’s method was simple: drugs.
Belle’s Breakup Letter to the Beast
I need a strong, carnivorous lover, not a submissive creature of the field.
I’d Like to Present an Argument Against Funeral Karaoke
Burton. Wendy. You can’t do a duet of “Something Stupid” as Jean is lowered into the ground.
This Isn’t an Oversized Carry On, It’s My Emotional Support Luggage
We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.
A Principal’s Tough Conversation with His Coolest Student
"You fielded eighteen promposals before February. That's a county record."