New from Bank of America: Feet Pic Appraisals™
Simply follow the prompts, upload a few well-lit, ankle-down images, and let Bank of America’s integrated AI do the rest!
Tag: Satire
I, the Sitcom Laugh Track, Am Ready to Be Considered for Dramatic Roles
I studied Strasberg with Laura Dern. I, too, was in the original Jurassic Park before Steven Spielberg edited me out.
The World Yacht Tipping Finals, Only on WhaleWorld Sports Network
Throwing out the ceremonial sea lion is actor Brendan Fraser, who starred in "The Whale" and has been known to compete in yacht tipping competitions himself.
We Are Cicadas Who Have Been Underground Since the Obama Administration
Now, front legs clasped, we surge skyward to a world replete with the bounties of over a decade of equality and universal healthcare!
My Shameless Piece of Oscar Bait Failed and It’s Not Fair
Just where do you fair-weather fans get off not spending your meager savings on tickets to see a multimillionaire’s vanity project?
An Important Announcement from the Makers of the Big Burlap Sack with a Dollar Sign On It
We take pride in our product. We know that there is no better feeling than tossing a big burlap sack over your shoulder after a big heist.
Top Seven Essential, Must-See, Can’t-Miss Destinations If You’re a Migrating Goose
Bar Harbor, Maine: Honk if you love pine trees! So chic, so luxe, so full of rose-soaked French fries and whoopie pies for the stealing.
Things I’m Doing With My Feelings Besides Sitting with Them
I’m staring directly at my feelings until my feelings feel uncomfortable and move away. I’m fighting over the armrest with my feelings.
Apartment Listings in a Cyberpunk Dystopia
Historical Building, Mysterious Circumstance Me: A detective with amnesia and a cauterized head wound. You: Want to fill my second bedroom.
I’m the Check, and Before You Split Me Thirty-Seven Ways, Can I Please Just Say This One Thing?
Then I guess you'll either frame me or paste me into a scrapbook or something. Either way, I'm just excited to begin the next phase of my journey.
Adobe Hypnotizes You with their Updated Terms of Service for A.I.
You're getting very sleepy... when you wake up, A.I. will make your life worth living.
Attention, Diners! I Am Going to Eat the Rest of This Sandwich
And whose hand is this? Do we know whose hand is attached to this abandoned sandwich?