Satire | Page 187 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

And when I turned to find you, you were gone. How is that even possible? How could I fail to notice your location or distinguishing features?

These Mason jars today---all they do is hang around waiting for some kid to go on Pinterest and search “rustic chic wedding.”

Surely you can tell by the creases under my eyes and the lingering scent of nitroglycerin that I’ve had a rough one.

Based out of our offices located inside the spire of One World Trade Center, and we’d love to work with YOU (until the next round of layoffs).

They were the ones tasked with Edward Scissorhanding the bushes on the hill that greeted you.

Yes, as of last Tuesday when Giselle dumped me, I decided to become a candidate too.

Did you know that there's a hunger epidemic going on? And more importantly, did you know that the office switched to ordering from Fresh Direct?

When a role for a young guy is being offered to me, I think of River Phoenix. It feels like a loss.

I played an orc in the Lord of the Ring movies. If you look closely, I am the grayish one with the teeth coming out in all directions from my face.

Judging by how few followers he had, I probably knew him best.

I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.

I know we aren’t particularly close, but we do have a ton of friends in common, which means it would be a lot of fun for me to go to your wedding.