I’m a Superhero Who Saved the World Twice, and I Still Can’t Get a Bank Loan
All that changed when a (unnamed for legal purposes) billionaire “superhero” with no powers showed up and asked me to join his superhero team.
Tag: Satire
An Email from HR Re: Office Improvements to Support Employees’ Physical and Mental Health Post-COVID-19
Crying Pods: 70% of employees also reported participating in, during this past year, a daily ritual of “crying my pretty little eyes out.”
Mr. Bones Bares All About Life as a Skeleton in the Modern Classroom
Teaching has a way of working you down to the bone. And, frankly, I’m tired. Bone tired.
Four Benefits of Climate Change, According to a 19th Century Adventurer
Fair Britannia’s genius has warmed the globe with her belching smokestacks and engines of industry, and the cruel polar ice is in retreat.
Sometimes I Think About My Childhood Best Friend and Wonder “Whatever Happened to That Guy?”
No one was as close to me as Elliott. We were two peas in a pod, a regular pair of pals, two elephants in a diaper.
My Vision Board Works, But Each Goal I Achieve Comes at a Terrible Cost
Finally, he asked me in a deep Brooklyn accent, “You here for the vision board supplies?”
A Guided Meditation for the Big Sleep
First, close your eyes and allow yourself to settle in. If you are bound or gagged, or both, do not fight it.
Rise and Grind: A Day in the Life of an Alpha Leader
6:00 AM: VOICE AS WEAPON! Silence any interfering neighbor with necessary action.
Messy Woman’s iPhone Terrified of Bars Reopening
The iPhone knows it’s not “chill” to say this, but she prefers the pandemic life. She’s happier now!
I Am Bill Gates and You’re Just Not Worth the Microchips
Do you know how expensive microchips are? I didn’t become a billionaire by just going around giving away MICROCHIPS all the time!
The Last Testament of Flip
And what about my heart, my battery? Fifteen years and still going strong. Always keeps its charge.
Goblins Might Interfere with COVID-19 Vaccine Safety
Tall, blonde, and glamorous goblins with mullets, breaking out in song, will banish teenagers to bogs that smell of fecal matter, among other things.