Thanks for Giving Me the Exact Compliment I Definitely Wasn’t Fishing For
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
Tag: Editors’ Picks
This Car Sticker of Guns Is My Family, and It Is Just as Sad as It Sounds
My sticker is hilarious because instead of a normie cartoon of my nonexistent wife and darling children, I’ve got two big guns.
Ways I Imagined I Might Die When I Was a Kid
I decide not to say “please” or “thank you” and I’m immediately pummeled to death by a diner waitress.
Please Don’t Post Recipes That Aren’t Tailored to My Specific Dietary Needs
Pancakes?! Why not mashed potatoes? Who makes pancakes for dinner, especially Thanksgiving dinner?
Andy Cohen Drunkenly Hosts Other Holidays
Labor Day - Here’s what they won’t tell you about Karl Marx: He’s a daddy!
Your Bar Trivia Host Lays Down Some Ground Rules
Our bar trivia is not—and I can’t stress this enough—fun. Think: the SATs. Think: your driver’s exam—the one you had to study for.
Come On Man, Just Let Us Adore Him
Dude, I cannot wait to get in there and silently appreciate the little fella. Let’s go!
Pictures with Santa Packages, from Best to Cheapest
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
My Typical Day in Washington DC, As Imagined by Aunt Susan
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
Happy New Year! Don’t Live in a Van
I know you’ve seen the TikTok reels and DIY YouTube videos, but you do not want to live in a van.
Sure, the Metaverse Is the Future, but Have You Heard About the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company?
You’re here to risk it all on totally digital experiences without a shred of realistic worth, and I’m talking about shrimp.
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.