Can You Identify Which Artist Named Drake Left This Tour Rider Behind?
In order to respect the artist's privacy, I can't disclose his/her name. However, I can describe in detail the piece of paper I found outlining their tour requests.
Tag: Parents
I Don’t Know How Else to Say This Kids, But Your Mom and I Need to Divorce You
Kids, there is never a good time to say this, but since it's Father's Day and you're both standing here without rolling your eyes for once, I guess now is good enough: we're divorcing you.
The Perfect Mother’s Day Bath Gift Basket to Make Up for the Disappointment You Have Become
Nothing says "thank you for sacrificing your hopes and dreams" like a mass-produced basket that's 80% tissue paper filling. It's what your mom would have wanted. She always puts you first!
I’d Love to Get Eaten
If I got eaten, nobody would be sour on me anymore. They’d use words like “valiant” to describe my life and valiant death.
5 INCREDIBLE Fashion Tips From Your Dad
You gotta have two belts: a formal one for funerals and weddings, and an everyday belt, no fewer than five years old, and TOTALLY SHOWING ITS AGE.
Will Someone Please Sleep With My Son?
My son is sick, and he needs your help. You see, there is only one way to cure him of the disease known as virginity: you must have sex with him.
Help! My Son is Dating a Calvinist, and I Don’t Want Our Unrelated Family Ban on Dancing to Seem Like Pandering
My son is dating a Calvinist and there’s just no way in hell she isn’t going to think our family’s unrelated ban on dancing is anything but blatant pandering.
How to Be an Adult in Tight Jeans
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
How Parents Set Babysitters Up for Failure
As a community service, allow me to dive into some hour-by-hour trends I’ve noted on the typical Friday night babysit, with a few tips for dealing with those trends.
A Father’s Guide to Gettin’ Busy with a Lady
I won't go into biological details, son, because that would just be awkward for both of us, but I really want you to understand that Gettin’ Down to Business is serious business.
Sorry Conservatives, Just Because I Was Raised By Two Moms Doesn’t Mean I’m Messed Up—I’m Messed Up Because My Moms Were Wolves
It really irks me when someone says my two-mom, non-traditional upbringing, could have damaged me as a child. I'm damaged because my moms were wolves.
Just Caught My Son Crandley YouTubing BMX on a School Night
Some nights I lie awake, wondering, is my son a nancy ass? Now, I fear the worst?: that he harbors dreams of a future in social work.